Jokes
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Chances of a Man Winning an Argument
in JokesChances of a Man Winning an Argument: Dating: 50% Engagement: 25% Marriage Period: 0%, very rare
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Going Downtown
in JokesA man and his girlfriend are having a sexual encounter. He asks her to “go downtown” so, with a sigh, she gets on her knees in front of him and starts peering at his genitals, looking and tipping her head this way and that, studying the whole business. After about five minutes of this, he…
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Honey, is the Dog Home?
in JokesA man had a very smart dog. He tried selling it for around $45, but everyjoke thought it was too expensive. The man couldn’t lower the price because part of the deal was to buy it a new name tag, 5 lbs. of food, and a new toy. After long thought he decided to get…
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Keep Your Head Down
in JokesA young man is playing golf with a priest. At a short hole the priest asks, “What are you going to use on this hole son?” The young man says, “An eight iron, father. How about you?” The priest says, “I’m going to hit a soft seven and pray.” The young man hits his eight…
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On the Beach
in JokesYour momma so fat that when she layed on the beach, four guys from greenpeace tried to throw her back in.
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Chugga, Chugga, Chugga, Chugga, Choo! Choo!
in JokesThis fellow who had spent his whole life in the desert comes to visit a friend. He’d never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the railroad tracks one day, he hears a whistle: “Whooee da Whoee!” He sees something coming towards him, but doesn’t know what…
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Who Am I??
in JokesOne Monday morning, a mailman was walking through the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approached one of the homes, Bob, a homeowner, was coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles. “Wow, Bob, looks like you guys had a hell of a party this weekend,” the mailman commented. Bob replied,…
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Go Brunette
in JokesThere was once a blonde who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of her. She decided to do something about it. She sat back and thought about it. Suddenly she thought – “I have never seen anyone making fun of brunettes. So, if I start talking and behaving like them and…
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The Power of the Human Mind
in JokesAoccdrnig to rscheearch codnutced at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,it deosn’t mttaer waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are tpyed,the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit oedrer. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos…
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Demetri Martin Quotes 2
in Jokes“Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. And when I’m swimming, sometimes I’m not sure which one it is. I gotta go by the outfit. Pants – uh oh. Bathing suit – okay. Naked – we’ll see. Should I be swimming…
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3 Men, 3 Wishes
in JokesThree men were trekking through the desert and came across a magician. The magician was standing at the top of a slide. The magician said, ”You may each go down the slide, asking for a drink. When you reach the bottom of the slide you shall land in a huge glass of that drink.” The…