Jokes
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Two Horses
in JokesThere was a man and a woman and they lived on a farm. They owned two horses, but they could not tell the difference between them! One day, the man painted a yellow stripe on the tail of one of the horses. When winter came, and the yellow had washed out from all the rain,…
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And They Have the Nerve to Tell Us WOMAN DRIVERS…
in JokesDriving to Louisana on the interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Cadillac doing 65 mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner. I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over…
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If Wives Were Newspapers…
in JokesWIFE : ” I wish I was a newspaper, so I’d be in your hands all day.” HUSBAND : ” I too wish that you were a newspaper, so I could have a new one everyday!”
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Wishing Well
in JokesA woman went to a wishing well and wished that she could become a better driver. So she turned into a man.
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Turn the Other Cheek
in JokesA married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from her joke because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his joke that the doctor…
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Osama Bin Laden’s Greeting At The Pearly Gates?
in JokesAfter getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama bin Laden made his way to the pearly gates. There, he is greeted by George Washington. “How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!” yells Mr. Washington, slapping Osama in the face. Patrick Henry comes up from behind. “You wanted to end the Americans’ liberty, so…
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Long, You Need Time 4 This 1!
in JokesWhy did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one! Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back! Why did Cinderella get kicked off the football team? Because she ran away from the ball! Why was it hot after the basketball game?…
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Eating Alone
in JokesThe teacher of the Earth Science class was lecturing on map reading. He spent the class explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees, and minutes. Towards the end of class, the teacher asked his students, “Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east…
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Wedding Ceremony
in JokesA couple are getting married in a big fancy church with all of the relatives and friends in attendance. The priest is going through the nomal procedure and when he comes to the part “If anyone objects to the union of these two people in Holy Matrimony let them speak now or for ever hold…
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New to Baseball
in JokesComing home from his Little League game, Billy swung open the front door very excited. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what happened. ‘So, how did you do, son?’ he asked. ‘You’ll never believe it!’ Billy said. ‘I was responsible for the winning run!’ ‘Really? How’d you do that?’ ‘I…
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Why Did the Iraqi Chicken…
in JokesQ: Why did the Iraqi chicken cross the road? A: To take over the other side.