5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Acronyms & Their Meanings

    in

    1. M.U.D.D.- Must use Drugs Daily 2. A.D.I.D.A.S.-All day I Dream About Sex 3. P.M.S.- Pretty Mean Stuff 4. F.B.I. Federal Beauro of Idiots 5. C.I.A.-Clueless Idiots Agency 6. N.C.I.S.-Neurologically Challenged Imbocil Society 7. P.h.D. Pretty Happy Dyke 8. U.C.L.A. Unidentified Cunt Lickers Anonymous 9. A.R.A. Agency- Anti Redundancy Agency 10. N.R.A.- Never Redundant Agency

  • Tax Time

    in

    A woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says: “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask you a few questions.” He gets her name, address, social security number, etc, and then asks, “what is your occupation?” “I’m a whore,” she says. The accountant balks…

  • Life As A Computer

    in

    If you messed up your life, you could press “Ctrl, Alt, Delete” and start all over! To get your daily exercise, just click on “run”! If you needed a break from life, click on “suspend”. Hit “any key” to continue life when ready. To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster. To…

  • So Good They Named it Ice

    in

    I think that’s how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, “Gee, I’m enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn’t cold enough. Let’s go west.”

  • The Mugging of a Lawyer

    in

    A mugger approached a very well-dressed and dignified lawyer on a deserted street one night: “Gimme your wallet and the keys to your car!” The lawyer shook his head and said in a patronizing tone: “Do you have ANY idea what it’s like to walk in my shoes or wear my clothes? I have more…

  • Our Lives

    in

    On the first day God created the cow. God said, “You must go to the field, with the farmer, all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years.” The cow said, “That’s a kind of a tough…

  • Green Gables

    in

    3 guys are driving down the road and realize that they all have to use the bathroom very badly. They come around a corner and see a sign “Green Gables next right”. So thye take the right turn and come up to Green Gables, they all jump out of the car and run insode to…

  • Dirt Poor

    in

    Yo mamma is so poor, when I told her she eats dirt, she said to me,”No way, that stuff is for rich people!”

  • SO OLD

    in

    Your Mom’s so old that she was alive when the Raiders had both eyes.

  • Useless Facts

    in

    Here are some useless facts that you may enjoy… 1. The longest one-syllable word in the English language is “screeched.” 2. On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament Building is an American flag. 3. barbie’s measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33. 4. All of the clocks in Pulp Fiction…

  • Just a Minute

    in

    A blonde rings up an airline. She asks, “How long are your flights from America to England?” The woman on the other end of the phone says, “Just a minute…” The blonde says, “Thanks!” and hangs up the phone.

  • What You Thought

    in

    Men can live without air for a few minutes, without water for a few days, without food for about two months, and without new thoughts for years on end.