5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Beach

    in

    Your mama so fat that when she goes swimming in the ocean all the whales start singing, “We are familly even though you fatter than me”.

  • Pick Up

    in

    Knock-Knock Who’s There. Pick up. Pick up Who? Pick up your truck and I’ll grab the money.

  • Napkins

    in

    One mistake my mom made when I was three: she taught me how to read the word napkin. The second mistake she made: I asked her why “napkins” were under the sink. She said they were for “special occasions” The third mistake she made: My mom asked me to set the table for the special…

  • It Ain’t Easy To Be Me

    in

    It ain’t easy to be a dick; I’ve got a head I can’t think with, An eye I can’t see out of. I have to hang around with two nuts all the time. My closest neighbour is a real asshole. My best friend is a pussy. And every time I get excited, I throw up;…

  • The Squirrel

    in

    Why did the squirrel sleep on his stomach? To keep his nuts warm!

  • Burned Into Your Mind

    in

    “What I saw, it was burned into my mind forever.” “Well, that explains the red markings on your scalp.”

  • Sadie and Yetta, Two Widows, are Talking:

    in

    Sadie: “That nice Morris Finkleman asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer.” Yetta: “Vell…. I’ll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctual like a clock. An like such a mench…

  • A Farmer Getting Soused

    in

    A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar getting soused. A man comes in and asks the farmer, “Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?” Farmer: Some things you just can’t explain. Man: So what happened that’s so horrible? Farmer: Well, today I was sitting by my cow milking her.…

  • Ugly Duckling

    in

    Once upon a time there was a mother duck and a father duck who had seven baby ducklings. Six of them were regular-looking ducklings. The seventh was a REALLY ugly duckling. Everyone used to say, “What a nice-looking bunch of ducklings— all except that one. Boy, he’s really ugly.” The really ugly duckling heard these…

  • Tanning Bed

    in

    Yo mama is so fat that she uses all of Mexico as a tanning bed.

  • Oh, My Stars!

    in

    Astronomy is looking up.

  • Sign #2

    in

    Sign at an office: Would the person who removed the step ladder yesterday kindly bring it back or further steps will be taken.