Jokes
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Lettuce and Minnestoa
in JokesThere was a boy who worked in the produce section of a super market. A man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man replied that he did not need a whole head, only half. The boy…
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Three Men in A Plane
in JokesThere are three men a plane; an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. When each of them flew over their country they dropped an item. When the plane flew over England, the Englishman dropped a rose; when the plane flew over Scotland, the Scotsman dropped a thistle, and finally, when the plane flew over Ireland,…
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Now Get Your Mind Out of the Gutter….
in JokesI shall seek and find you, I shall take you to bed and have my way with you, I will make you ache, shake, and sweat until you moan and groan. I will make you beg for mercy, you will beg for me to stop. I will exhaust you to the point that you will…
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A New Suit
in JokesA man walks into a men’s outfitters and grumpily asks to see the cheapest suit in the shop. The horrified snooty sales assistant immediately fetched a full length mirror and placed it in front of him.
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Women As Explained By Engineers
in JokesWomen as Explained by Engineers Finally- an explanation of Woman that makes sense to a man! Element: Woman Discoverer: Adam Atomic Mass: Accepted as 55kg, but known to vary from 45kg, to 225 kg. Physical properties ___________________ joke surface normally covered with a film of powder and paint. Boils at absolutely nothing-freezes for no apparent…
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That’s Me
in JokesJohn Kallam graduated with a BA in criminology and entered the U.S. Army. He served for 20 years beginning in the late 1930’s. He was an investigator during the Nuremberg trials of Nazi war criminals, and stayed in Germany for many years organizing civilian police forces in the post-war era. He also wrote numerous books…
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As Small As a Mouse
in JokesThe doctors were talking about their work. “I had great success with one of my patients,” said the first doctor. “When he came to me, he thought he was as small as a mouse.” “And you cured him?” the second docter asked. “I convinced him that many of the world’s greatest men were small,” the…
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According to The…
in JokesAccording to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to every historical…
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The Dying Irish Nun
in JokesThe wise old Mother Superior from county Tipperary was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it. Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey they had received as a gift…
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Chicken Madness
in JokesWhy did the chicken go across the field? Because the referee shouted “FOWL”!
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Cowboy Story
in JokesWhile riding one day, a cowboy met an Indian riding along with a dog and a cow and began a conversation. Cowboy: “Hey, cool dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?” Indian: “Dog no talk.” Cowboy: “Hey dog, how’s it going?” Dog: “Doin’ alright.” The Indian looked shocked. Cowboy: “Is this Indian…