5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • From Real Job Applications

    in

    I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience. I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreasheet progroms. I am loyal to my employer at all costs.Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail. Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45…

  • Wrong Bathroom

    in

    So I was out camping and my glasses had broken the day before, so I couldn’t wear them. Without my glasses, I can’t see anything past 10 feet in front of my face. So I was out camping (W/out glasses) and I go to use the bathroom, and I walk into the wrong one, (and…

  • Dear Brother,

    in

    Dear brother, I smile because you are my brother. I laugh because there is absolutely nothing you can do about it!

  • Finish

    in

    My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.

  • Remarry

    in

    A wife asked her husband well you remarry if I die? Husband:(caught off guard) He said no, I already did…. CRAP!!!

  • Cheese Spread

    in

    Why did Michael Jackson cover his joke in cheese spread? Because kids will do anything for the taste of Dairylee.

  • Grandma

    in

    Little johnny was heard praying in a loud voice a week before his birthday. “Dear God I pray that I will get a computer game for my birthday!” “Why are you shouting” asked his mother “God isn’t deaf?!?!?!?!?” “I know said Johnny, but grandma is!”

  • History Lesson

    in

    It was the first day of school and a new student named Martinez, the son of a local Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American history. Who said ‘Give me Liberty, or give me Death’?” She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Martinez, who had…

  • Breakfast Ration?

    in

    Why should you have only one egg for breakfast? Because un oeuf is enough!

  • CSI?

    in

    Two detectives were investigating a scene, The victims had their hands and head cut off. “It’s going to be a nightmare identifying the bodies, with no finger prints or faces” said one. The other replied, “I thought it would be rather easy, how many people do you know walking around with no head or hands?”

  • Balloon Ride

    in

    Jim is in a hot-air balloon, completely lost. He sees a man in a field below and flies down to him. “Excuse me sir, but can you tell me where I am?” The man in the field replied “You’re in a balloon.” Jim said “You’re an engineer, aren’t you?” “Why yes, I am. How did…

  • Tough English

    in

    Multi-national personnel at North Atlantic Treaty Organization headquarters near Paris found English to be an easy language … until they tried to pronounce it. To help them discard an array of accents, the verses below were devised. After trying them, a Frenchman said he’d prefer six months at hard labor to reading six lines aloud.…