Jokes
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The Gwyniss Book of Records
in JokesA Welsh girl called Gwyneth visited Japan recently. There, people had problems pronouncing her name so she became Gwyniss. Everywhere she went, she was greeted with tremendous respect. At a farewell reception, her host said, “We’ve been so excited to have a famous author in our midst.” “What am I supposed to have written?” she…
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Do You Know Why…
in JokesQ: Do you know why doctors slap babies on the butt after they are born? A: It knocks the penises off of the dumb ones.
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Faith is Always Right
in JokesThe teacher said to the cooking class. “Tell me: what is the most important thing to put in a chocolate cake?” Faith quickly replied, “Your teeth!” The teacher said, “No, the ingredients.” After correcting Faith, the cooking teacher said, “Who can tell me the best way to keep yogurt from spoiling?” Faith answered, “By eating…
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Muffin Man
in Jokes(Not for Muffin Man luvers) Do you know the muffin man, the muffin man, the muffin man? Do you know the muffin man who lives on Dreary lane? I just shot the muffin man, the mufifn man, the muffin man. I just shot the muffin man who lives on Dreary Lane. I shot him with…
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Why Fire Depts. have Dalmatians
in JokesA mother was driving her kids to school one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children began discussing the dog’s duties. “They use him to keep crowds back,” said one youngster. “No,” said another, “he’s just for good luck.” A…
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The Band
in JokesA student was in the percussion section of the band, and was not doing well. The band had a performance that night, and the conductor had an annoucement to make. The conductor said, “When a student is having trouble playing an instrument, we can give him two sticks and make him a percussionist, and let…
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Yo Momma is So Fat
in JokesYo momma is so fat she wanted to go shopping for a new belt so she reached into the sky, then pulled off one of Saturn’s rings and said, “Yep! Perfect fit.”
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Life Isn’t Fair
in JokesLife isn’t fair. I went to my boss with a note from my doctor stating that I have multiple personalities. Now I do three different jobs and still only get one paycheck!!.
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The Blackeye
in JokesJabu walked into class every morning with a black eye. After a while his teacher got worried and asked him about it. Jabu answered, “Our house is very small, Miss. Me, my mother and my father, we sleep in the same bed. Every night my father asks, ‘Jabu are you sleeping?’ I say, ‘no’ and…
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More Favorite oneliners
in JokesWhat do you call a black woman with braces? A Black & Decker Pecker Wrecker. Hear about the new deodorant called “Umpire”? It’s for foul balls. How do you circumcise a whale? Fore-skin divers. What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an Italian? A guy who makes you an offer you can’t…