Jokes
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The Sexton of the Synagogue
in JokesThe sexton of the synagogue decided to install a poor box so that the fortunate might share their wealth with the needy. On shabbes eve, he announced to the congregation that a new opportunity for mitzvoh was available. “But,” one member complained, “it will be so easy for the goneffs (thieves) to steal from the…
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Cow on the Tracks
in JokesA passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. “What’s going on?” she yells out the window. “Cow on the track!” replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees…
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Palm Sunday
in JokesLittle Johnny had the flu and wasn’t able to attend the Palm Sunday church service with his family. When they returned home from the service, they were carrying palm branches. “What are those?” Little Johnny asked his mother. “People held them over Jesus’ head as he walked by,” his mother explained. “Well, doesn’t that just…
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The Old Cowhand Came Riding Into Town…
in JokesThe old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the Cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail a few feet in front of the sheriff. “Howdy, stranger…” “Howdy, Sheriff…” The cowboy then moved slowly to…
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Technical Support
in JokesTHIS IS A TRUE STORY!!! My cousin works as a technical support receptionist at a computer company. This is an actual conversation he had one day: “Hi, I’m having trouble with my computer. It’s not working!” “Well, I’ll do my best to help you.” *gets technical information for computer from caller* “OK, can you press…
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Bang Head Here
in JokesTech Support: “All right. Now click ‘OK’.” Customer: “Click ‘OK’?” Tech Support: “Yes, click ‘OK’.” Customer: “Click ‘OK’?” Tech Support: “That’s right. Click ‘OK’.” Customer: “So I click ‘OK’, right?” Tech Support: “Right. Click ‘OK’.” Pause. Customer: “I clicked ‘Cancel’.” Tech Support: “YOU CLICKED ‘CANCEL’???” Customer: “That’s what I was supposed to do, right?” Tech…
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At the Reading of the Will
in JokesA lawyer was reading a wealthy man’s will to the people mentioned in it. “To my wife Claire, who stood by me through the rough times as well as the good, I leave you the house, the cars and $5 million.” The lawyer continued, “To my daughter Sarah, who took care of me during my…
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Lost in the Woods
in JokesTwo small boys, one catholic and one protestant get lost in the woods. Darkness comes down and they near a monastery. Upon entering they are asked their faith, telling the head monk their religions. The Catholic lad gets the best of treatment, good food, a good bed near the fireplace. The protestant lad however gets…
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Too Much Coffee
in JokesYou know you’ve had too much coffee when… You can type sixty words a minute with your feet Instant coffee takes too long You chew on other people’s fingernails You answer the door, before people knock You sleep with your eyes open You go to sleep, just so you can wake up and smell the…
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Two Carrots
in JokesTwo carrots are walking down the street one day when a car suddenly comes flying around the corner and runs one of them over. At the hospital, the doctor says to the other carrot, “I have good news and bad news. The good news is your friend is going to live. The bad news is…
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Mr. L’s Funny Story.
in JokesHello, I am Mr. L, as most people call me. I am going to tell you a story that happened to me years ago. Here goes! People were pouring pollution all around they world; strangely, it made certain animals turn gigantic. That happened to a dog one day, it wasn’t pretty. I don’t know why,…