Jokes
-
I Didn’t Do It
in JokesA boss of a computer company walked up to one of his workers. “You’re fired!” exclaimed the boss. “I didn’t do anything!” replied the confused worker. The boss, happy with his answer, says, “I know. That’s why you’re fired!”
-
Cellulite Surfin’
in JokesYo momma is so fat, that every time you smack her butt, you can ride the waves!
-
Yo Momma So Stupid
in JokesYo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes. Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends. Yo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon. Yo mama so…
-
Translated Car Ads
in Jokes“Two tone paint work” – Original color and rust. “One careful owner” – But the other nine were clumsy as anything. “10,000 trouble-free miles” – Crashed in the last 20 feet. “Heated rear window” – So you don’t get cold hands when push-starting the thing in winter. “Very clean” – Only washed if and when…
-
I Know What the Bible Means
in JokesA father was approached by his small son, who told him proudly, “I know what the Bible means!” His father smiled and replied, “What do you mean, you ‘know’ what the Bible means?” The son replied, “I do know!” “Okay,” said his father. “So, son, what does the Bible mean?” “That’s easy, Daddy. It stands…
-
Good Luck, Bad Luck
in JokesGood luck turns into bad luck when you call the credit card company to tell them they made a mistake on your bill….. and they agree because they didn’t charge you enough. Good luck turns into bad luck when the cutest boy rings you up…. then apologies because he dialed the wrong number.
-
Bet Money She Was Blond…
in JokesBefore setting off on a business trip to Tulsa, I called the hotel where I’d be staying to see if they had a gym. The hotel receptionist’s sigh had a tinge of exasperation in it when she answered. “We have over 300 guests at at this facility” she said.  “Does this ‘Jim’ have a last…
-
Christmas oneliners
in JokesWhy was the little pointy-eared boy down in the dumps? He had low elf-esteem. Why does Santa Claus come down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it soots him.
-
NOT One Size Fits All, Then?
in JokesThe woman at the supermarket checkout was giving the clerk a hard time. As her audience in the waiting line increased, she became more abusive. Finally, the patient clerk came to a dog’s flea collar. The checker asked the customer if she was aware that the package had been opened. “Of course, I opened it,”…
-
Scotland vs. Rock
in JokesWhat’s the difference between a Scot and Mick Jagger? Mick Jagger sang “Hey, you, get offa my cloud.” The Scot says “Hey, McCloud, get offa my ewe.”
-
Boy With His Spelling Words..
in JokesA boy was assigned a job to do a list of spelling words for his class. The boy asked the teacher what spelling words to do. She replies “Ask your family for help if you can’t think of anything.” So the boy went home to ask his family for any help. “Mom, can you give…
-
December 7th
in Jokes(To truely enjoy this joke you should first read Wocka jokes: December 1st. December 2nd. December 3rd. Enjoy!) FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: December 7th RE: Holiday Party What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids…