Jokes
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What is This?
in JokesWhen the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. “Good heavens,” he said, “what is this?” “Why, it’s bean soup,” she replied. “I don’t care what it has been,” he sputtered. “What is it now?”
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Cross-eyed Dog
in JokesA man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. He says, “My dog’s cross-eyed, can you do something for him?” “Let’s have a look at him,” says the vet, as he picks up the dog, examines his eyes, and checks his teeth. “I’m going to have to put him down,” he finally says. “What?” says the…
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Weird Local Sex Laws
in JokesNo man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth. Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn’t allowed to take more than three gulps…
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The Little Communicators
in JokesA little girl and a little boy were at day care. The girl approaches the boy and says, “Hey Tommy, wanna play house?” He says, “Sure! What do you want me to do?” The girl replies, “I want you to communicate your thoughts.” “Communicate my thoughts?” said a bewildered Tommy. “I have no idea what…
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Tips For Calling an Answering Service
in JokesTips for calling a business that has an answering service. When you get the answering service, please remember these vital tips. 1) When you call a lockout company, make sure you give the operator the telephone number on your account. It’s considered proper procedure for the locksmith to drive to the office to look up…
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Vaseline
in JokesA market researcher called at a house and his knock was answered by a young woman with three small children running around her. He asked her if she minded replying to his questions and she agreed. He asked her if she knew his company, Cheeseborough Ponds. When she said no, he mentioned that among their…
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International Cow Economics (politically Dubious!)
in JokesTRADITIONAL ECONOMICS You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies and the economy grows. You retire on the income. INDIAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You worship them. PAKISTAN ECONOMICS You don’t have any cows. You claim that the Indian cows belong to you. You ask the US for…
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Why Didn’t the Duck Cross the Road?
in JokesWhy didn’t the duck cross the road? To prove he’s no chicken.