Jokes
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You are a Redneck If… #4
in JokesYou are a redneck if: Directions to your house include ”Turn off the paved road…”
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How to Talk Native Southern III
in JokesMinners – Live bait. Misrus – Married woman. Nar – Opposite of wide. Nayk – Your head sets on it. Nup â No. Orrel – Them hinges need orrel. Ormy – What the sojers go in. Pank – A light red color. Parch – Sit out on the parch and watch the grass grow. Petition…
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Pure Polar Bear
in JokesA baby polar bear goes up to his dad and asks, “Dad, am I pure polar bear?” The dad replies, “Sure you are son. I’m all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear, your mom is all polar bear, and her parents are all polar bear.” Still unsure the baby polar bear goes to…
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Prison Vs. Housewives
in JokesIn prison, you get three square meals a day. At home, you cook three square meals a day and try to get your kids to eat it. In prison, you get an hour each day in the yard to exercise and mingle. At home you get to clean the yard up so you can mow…
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50th Anniversery
in JokesWith a man soon to celebrate his 50th wedding anniversary at the church’s marriage marathon, the minister asked Pete to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he managed to maintain his marriage with the same woman all these years. The husband replied to the audience, “Well, I treated her with respect,…
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States of Matter
in JokesRonnie never listens in science class because he says it’s boring.. One day his teacher asked, “Ronnie, What are the 3 states of matter?” Since he heard his name he did listen to the question. So he thinks for a second and replies, “Texas, Florida, and Arkansas!”
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The Teacher, the Thief & the Lawyer
in JokesA teacher, a thief and a lawyer all die in the same freak accident. So when they reach the pearly gates, St. Peter tells them that, unfortunately, heaven is overcrowded, so they each have to answer a question correctly for admission. The teacher is first, and St. Peter asks, “Name the famous ship that was…
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Hell Hath No Fury Like A Pregnant Woman Scorned
in Jokes(A man comes to my register with a mint chocolate candy bar.) Me: “Anything else?” Customer: “Can you break a $100 bill?” Me: “Actually, I can’t. We just opened and I haven’t gone to the bank today.” Customer: “Oh, no! Do you know anywhere I can get change? I need this candy right away!” (At…
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Good, Bad and Ugly
in JokesGood: You & Your wife decide not to have kids. Bad: Your wife can’t find the birth control pills Ugly: You daughter borrowed them.