5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • If Men Were in Charge of Weddings

    in

    If Men Were in Charge of Weddings There would be a “Rehearsal Kegger” rather than a “Rehearsal Dinner.” Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jean cut-offs and halter tops. They would have NO tan lines. The couple would leave the ceremony in a souped up ’73 Charger or some other Mopar with racing tires and flame…

  • Yuri Gagarin

    in

    The Armenian Radio was asked: “Is it true that comrade cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin’s car was stolen in Moscow during the celebrations?” The Armenian Radio answers: “In principle yes, but it was not in Moscow, rather in Kiev, and it was not his car, but his bike and it was not comrade cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin, but…

  • Biting Your Fingernails!

    in

    Little Jimmy bit his fingernails all the time. His parents tried everything to get him to stop, but to no avail. Finally, his mother, exasperated, decided to tell him a little white lie to get him to stop. “Jimmy,” she said, “You’d better stop biting your fingernails. If you don’t, then those fingernails will pile…

  • Boogers And Broccoli!

    in

    What’s the difference between boogers and broccoli? Kids don’t eat broccoli.

  • Acronym Cars

    in

    AUDI Accelerates Under Demonic Influence Always Unsafe Designs Implemented All Un-informed Drivers Insulted All Unnecessary Devices Installed BMW Big Money Works Bought My Wife Brutal Money Waster BUICK Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer CHEVROLET Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time DODGE Dumb Old…

  • Holiday Favorite

    in

    Schizophrenia – Do You Hear What I Hear? Multiple Personality Disorder – We Three Kings Disoriented Are. Dementia – I Think I’ll Be Home For Christmas. Narcissistic – Hark The Herald Angels Sing About Me. Manic – Deck The Halls and Walls and Houses and Lawns and Streets and Stores and Offices and Towns and…

  • Middle Wife

    in

    I’ve been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade classroom a few years back. When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell, so I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them…

  • New French Tanks

    in

    Q: Did you hear about the new French tanks? A: They have 5 gears…4 in reverse, and one forward gear just in case they’re attacked from behind!

  • Chicken

    in

    Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the butcher

  • The Smart Pills

    in

    As most young, weak, and smart kids are, Ken was picked on constantly by the bullies in school. They stole his lunch, they beat him up and just made his life downright miserable. It took him a couple of weeks to find a way to get back at these bullies and when he figured out…

  • T.V.

    in

    Haven’t I seen you on TV? Well yes I do appear off and on, how do you like me? Off.

  • Tomatoes

    in

    A small boy was looking at the red ripe tomatoes growing in the farmer’s garden. “I’ll give you my two pennies for that tomato,” said the boy pointing to a beautiful, large, ripe fruit hanging on the vine. “No,” said the farmer, “I get a dime for a tomato like that one.” The small boy…