Jokes
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Mental Patients
in JokesA doctor who works at the mental hospital wants to take his patients out to a baseball game seeing as they’re so well behaved. He goes to his colleagues and asks them if it’s ok. They don’t want to let him take them in case they misbehave or do something wrong seeing as they’re complete…
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What a Pisser
in JokesShannon received a phone call from the foreman plant that her husband worked at. He sounded grim and she immediately knew something was wrong. “What happened? Is Patrick all right? Please tell me he’s ok,” she said. The man on the line said, “Shannon, there was an accident at the brewery and your husband is…
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How Clouds are Formed
in JokesOne day, a teacher at an elementary school asks one of her students how clouds form. She replied “I’m not sure how clouds form, but the clouds know how to form, and that’s the important thing….”
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A Few Good Lawyers
in JokesA lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” “I’m a chiropractor, and I’m just keeping in practice while I’m waiting in line.” “Well, I’m a lawyer,…
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3 Men at the Pearly Gates
in Jokes3 men die in a car crash and are sent to the pearly gates. Having all lived good lives, they were all allowed in but they had certain restrictions. God told them that he would ask them a question. They should answer truthfully and depending on how they answer they will receive a home and…
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Help Me Lord!
in JokesPedro was driving down the street, in a panic, because he had an important meeting and couldn’t find a parking place. Looking up toward heaven, he said “Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place, I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up…
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If ______ Made Toasters
in JokesIf Oracle made toasters… They’d claim their toaster was compatible with all brands and styles of bread, but when you got it home, you’d discover the Bagel Engine was still in development, the Croissant Extension was three years away, and that, indeed, the whole appliance was just blowing smoke. If Hewlett-Packard made toasters… They would…
