Jokes

  • Trouble, Jackass, and Manners

    There were 3 boys named trouble, jackass, and manners. They were playing a game of hide and seek. Trouble was counting, manners was hid up in a tree, and jackass was hiding behind the same tree. A police man walks over to jackass and says “I’ll give you a lollipop if you tell me your…

  • Little Virus?

    SON SAYS: Daddy, how was I born? DAD SAYS: Ah, well, my son, one day you will need to find out anyway! Mom and Dad got together in a chat room on MSN. Dad set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a cybercafe. We sneaked into a secluded room,…

  • Beau Vine

    A newspaper columnist was found guilty and fined for calling a countess a cow. When the trial ended and the man paid his fine, he asked the judge, since it was now clear he couldn’t call a countess a cow, could he call a cow a countess? The judge said it was all right to…

  • You Think You Have it Bad

    Two gay guys are having sex. The penis says to the asshole “you think you have it bad, I’m up to my nuts in shit over here!”

  • Ten Things A Woman Will Never Say

    10. What do you mean “today’s our anniversary”? 9. Can we not talk to each other tonight? I’d rather just watch TV. 8. Ohh, this diamond is way too big! 7. And for our honeymoon we’re going fishing in Alaska! 6. Can our relationship get a little more physical? I’m tired of being “just friends”.…

  • Do You Know Why … in Iraq

    Do you know why there are no Wal-Marts in Iraq? Because there are so many Targets.

  • Remote

    How did the person take over the remote? He asked for remote CONTROLS!

  • Funny True News Articles

    Elderly Man Sued for Stopping at Stop Sign September 9, 2002 – Atlanta, USA In a case possibly first of its kind, 67 year old Arthur Thompson is being sued by 32 year old Lynn Manaouski for stopping at a 4-way stop sign. In her statement she described how she came up to the intersection…

  • It’s a Matter of Perspective

    An elephant is talking to a hippopotamus, and the elephant says, “You know, there’s nothing worse than a cold in the nose.” The hippo says, “Oh yeah? Did you never have chapped lips?”

  • A Chicken

    A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

  • Tree

    What s green and hangs from a tree??? Giraffe Boogers

  • A Day at the Fairgrounds

    One day, I went to the shooting gallery at the fair, one with the smiling clowns. I aimed and fired. Imagine my reaction when the target started yelling obscenities and charged. “WOW! These fairs are really getting high-tech,” I thought. Just to impress the girls watching, I held my ground and continued firing. Pretty soon,…