Jokes
-
What Children Say V
in JokesHOW DO PEOPLE IN LOVE TYPICALLY BEHAVE? “When a person gets kissed for the first time, they fall down and they don’t get up for at least an hour.” Wendy, age 8. “Mooshy…like puppy dogs…except puppy dogs don’t wag their tails nearly as much.” Arnold, age 10. “All of a sudden, the people get movies…
-
No Money To Waste
in JokesBubba finally agreed to take his wife, Sue Ellen, to a play. They had hardly sat down when he jumped up and said “Sue Ellen, we gotta go!” With Sue Ellen in tow, Bubba stomped out to the foyer, demanded his money back, and they left the theater. When they got out onto the sidewalk,…
-
Headlines For 2043
in JokesOzone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as California’s third language. Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops & livestock. Baby conceived naturally; Scientists stumped. Authentic year 2000 “Chad” sells at Sotheby’s for $1.6 million. Castro…
-
Newfie in Toronto
in JokesA newfie is walking down Yonge street in Toronto and sees a store front. The only thing inside are 2 guys sitting on stools. The newfie walks in and says “Hey what are you guys selling?” The one guy, recognizing the accent as being newfie, says “we’re selling assholes!” The newfie responds “HOLY SHIT! Business…
-
The New Game of Life
in JokesA boy and his mom were playing the new game of life were you could put your house were you wanted it. The boy put it on the left side. On his next turn he moved it onto the right side. The mom asked why he did that and he said, “I wanted to live…
-
Pink Cloud
in JokesOne day, two women and a man die. When they go to heaven, St. Peter tells them they could do whatever they want as long as they didn’t step on a pink cloud. One day, one of the three people were seen walking with two ugly men. “I tripped and fell on a pink cloud,”…
-
Worst Tech Guy Ever?
in Jokes“One day a friend of mine called me up to tell me he was thinking of buying a computer. This guy is particularly sensitive to criticism and not exactly in the upper echelon of the IQ range, and personally I don’t think he should own a programmable VCR much less a computer, but he’s a…
-
The Psychiatrists
in Jokes“OK,” said the psychiatrist, “let’s try some tests. I’ll draw something, and you say what it reminds you of.” He draws a house, and the patient says, “Sex.” He draws a square, and the patient says, “Sex.” He draws a circle, and the patient says, “Sex.” He draws a trangle, and the patient says, “Sex.”…