5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • The Witness

    in

    A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial-a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment…

  • School Teacher

    in

    The tourist had lost his way on a back road and stopped at the farmhouse to ask if he could be put up for the night. “Well, we’re a mighty crowded, since there’s already someone in the spare room” replied the farmer. “But I guess you can stay if you don’t mind sharing the bed…

  • T-Shirt Messages III

    in

    Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional. God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will live forever. Life is too short. Don’t be a jerk. Friends are the chocolate chips in the cookies of life. If life is like a bowl…

  • Fun Things To Do

    in

    1. Walk to your neighbor’s house and ask in your best British accent, “May I borrow a cup of pants?” 2. Go over to a friend’s house, take off your shirt, put on one of theirs and leave. 3. When a telemarketer calls, say, “Welcome to Hell! Satan speaking, how may we reap your soul…

  • December 1

    in

    FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: December 1 RE: Christmas Party I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We’ll have…

  • Scone

    in

    What happens to a scone when you have eaten it? It’s scone.

  • Tennis Ball

    in

    While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball, and seeing none around it might belong to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts. Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change. A girl standing next to him…

  • Star Trek

    in

    What did Spock find in the toilet? The captain’s log.

  • Insane Asylum

    in

    Late one night at the insane asylum one inmate shouted, “I am Napoleon!” Another one said, “How do you know?” The first inmate said, “God told me!” Just then, a voice from another room shouted, “I did NOT!!!”

  • Sticks and Stones

    in

    Sticks and stones won’t break my bones but yo momma will when she gets on top!

  • Signs You’ve Been Partying Too Much

    in

    1. With a little effort, you could pull the bags under your eyes over your head. 2. When the professor calls out your name during attendance, you rhythmically cry out “In da’ house!” 3. Your dirty laundry has become the closest thing to wall-to-wall carpeting. 4. Every study group you join gets fed up with…

  • Clinton Honoraries..

    in

    Soup manufacturers announced today that they will be stocking America’s shelves this week with “Clinton Soup,” that will honor one of the nation’s most distinguished men. It consists primarily of a small weenie in hot water. Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton. The Dodge Drafter will begin…