5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Anginal Sex

    in

    An old man in the nursing home got a bottle of wine for his birthday. He talked the old lady in the next room into sharing it with him. After they were both totally bombed, he started groping the old lady and pulling at her clothes. He managed to get her blouse and bra off…

  • Spell it

    in

    TEACHER: John, how do you spell “crocodile”? JOHN: “K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L.” TEACHER: No, that’s wrong. JOHN: Maybe it’s wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!

  • The King

    in

    There was a king who was memorizing a script to tell everyone in the land that everyone got free chocolate. But really it was filled with poison to kill them all. A guard walked by and said in a whisper, “Remember it is filled with poison, but do not say it is filled with poison.…

  • How Come?

    in

    How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

  • God’s Vacation

    in

    God was in Heaven and was getting particularly bored. “Oh what can I do?” he exclaimed. St. Peter came up to him and suggested he take a vacation. “That’s a great idea, but where should I go?” asked God. “How about the moon?” suggested St. Peter. “Well, I could, but there’s no gravity on the…

  • Coat Hanger

    in

    A blonde woman was at work when she received a phone call that her daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication. She got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys in the car She didn’t know what…

  • Don’t Fall Asleep!

    in

    Courtney: Let’s see who can stay up the longest tonight. Kaitlyn: I know! We’ll pinch each other every ten minutes to make sure we don’t fall asleep! Starting right NOW! Courtney: Hey, I’m not even tired! Kaitlyn: See, my plan is working!

  • Innocent Inquiry

    in

    Worried that they hadn’t heard anything for days from the widow in the apartment next door, the mother said to her son, “Tony, would you go next door and see how Old Mrs. Pierpoint is?” A few minutes later, Tony returned. “Well, is she all right?” asked the mother. “She’s fine, but she’s rather annoyed…

  • Latin Class

    in

    To help students remember the word for “wear” in Latin, the professor used the phrase: semper ubi, sub ubi Translation: Always wear under wear.

  • The Dog

    in

    Police officer: “Excuse me, but your dog has been chasing a man on his bicycle”. Dog owner: “Are you crazy? My dog can’t even ride a bicycle”.

  • 10 Commandments of Marriage

    in

    Commandment 1. Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning. Commandment 2. If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep. Commandment 3. Marriage is grand — and divorce is at least 100 grand! Commandment 4. Married life is very…

  • Under Pressure

    in

    Patient: “Doctor, you gotta help me. I’m under a lot of stress. I keep losing my temper with people.” Doctor: “Tell me about your problem.” Patient: “I just did, you moron!”