5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Uglyness

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    Yo mama so ugly, when she went to go rob a bank she didn’t have to use no gun, she just reached her head over the counter and said put the money in the bag!!!!!

  • Fried Eggs

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    A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen. “Careful … CAREFUL!! Put in some more butter!! Oh my Gosh!! You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY!! Turn them!! TURN THEM NOW!! We need more butter. Oh my Gosh!! WHERE are we going to…

  • Blood Circulation

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    Blood Circulation A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said, “Now, boys, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face.” “Yes, sir,” the boys said. “Then why is…

  • Ex-Wife

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    A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin as she sits alone at a nearby table. Finally the wife asks, “Do you know her?” “Yes,” sighs the husband, “She’s my ex-wife. She took to drinking right…

  • Fall Out!

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    As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base, the Drill Sergeant said, “All right! All you idiots fall out.” As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention. The Drill Instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with him, and then raised a single eyebrow. The soldier…

  • Fairy Tales

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    Big Bad Wolf: The big bad wolf said to Little Red Riding Hood, “unbutton your blouse and let me suck your tits.” “Fuck off,” she replied as she tugged down her panties. “Eat me, like the fuckin’ book says.” Pinocchio: Pinocchio was fed up with the recent complaints from his wife. “Every time we make…

  • 2 Quick Ones

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    Where is the safest place to hide money from a redneck? In his work boots! How can you tell a redneck has been in your backyard? Your bike is gone and the dog is pregnant!!

  • Water Gun

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    When my three-year-old son opened a birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. I was not so pleased. I turned to Mom and said, “I’m surprised at you. Don’t you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?” Mom…

  • Newfie Farmers

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    Q: How many Newfie farmers does it take to milk a cow? A: 5…One to hold the utter and four to lift the cow up and down, up and down.

  • Chuck Norris Facts: 14

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    Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground. It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris…

  • How to Shower Like a Woman

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    1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom. 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your…

  • Top Ten Signs You Might Be a Frog

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    1. You get mad when you don’t find a fly in your soup. 2. You buy out the supply of wart removal cream in your drugstore constantly. 3. French chefs are eyeing your legs and appear to be following you. 4. Bug lamps appear to you as a curse. 5. On applications, you list ‘Pond’…