5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Snow White’s Seven Dwarfs

    in

    Recently, Snow White’s seven dwarfs met up with three of their friends and went to the cinema to see Bambi. From the clues below, can you determine the order in which they stood in the ticket queue? Grumpy was in front of Dopey. Stumpy was behind Sneezy and Doc. Doc was in front of Droopy…

  • Ticket

    in

    You’re so ugly… that when your mom dropped you off on the curb for school, she got fined for littering.

  • You’re so stupid……..FAX

    in

    You’re so stupid that when you send a FAX you put a stamp on it

  • Boogers

    in

    Yo mama so fat, when she sat on a quarter, boogers came out of George Washington’s nose.

  • How to piss a cop off

    in

    1) When you get pulled over, say “What’s wrong, officer, there’s no blood in my alcohol?” 2) When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race. 3) When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf. 4) If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my…

  • We’re The Ellawi

    in

    After interviewing a particularly short-spoken job candidate, the interviewer described the person to his boss as rather monosyllabic. The boss said, “Really? Where is Monosyllabia?” Thinking that his boss was just kidding, he played along and said that it was just south of Elbonia. He replied, “Oh, you mean over by Croatia?”

  • Funny Signs

    in

    Funny Signs: Tailor’s Shop: Ladys have fits upstairs. Restaurant: People who find the waitresses rude ought to see the manager. Restaurant: We serve people like you as good food! Mall: The lift is being fixed today. We regret that for the next 24 hours you will be unbearable. Muffler Store: No appointment necessary, we will…

  • Bank Name

    in

    Mother decided that 7-year-old Cathy should get something ‘practical’ for her birthday. “Suppose we open a savings account for you?” mother suggested. Cathy was delighted. “It’s your account, darling,” mother said as they arrived at the bank, “so you fill out the application.” Cathy was doing fine until she came to the space for ‘Name…

  • I Like To..

    in

    Some times when the soap bar in the shower is small enough I like to swipe it thru my butt crack and say ” beep! credit card accepted”

  • Water Words

    in

    What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved

  • Leaf Among The Leaves

    in

    A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, looking at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages. “Momma,…

  • A Few One-Liners II

    in

    If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims! What are the feathers on a turkey’s wings called? Turkey feathers. Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building? Yes – a building can’t jump at all. Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had the drumsticks.…