Jokes
-
Stupidest Bush Quotes Ever…
in Jokes“They misunderestimate me.” -Nov. 6, 2000 “Rarely is the question asked: Is out children learning?” -Jan. 11, 2000 “I aim to be a competitive nation.” -April 21, 2006
-
Technically Bragging . . .
in JokesWIKIPEDIA: I know everything. GOOGLE: I have everything. FACEBOOK: I know everyjoke. INTERNET : You’re all nothing without me. ELECTRICITY: Keep talking, bitches!
-
Peanuts at the Zoo
in JokesThree mischievous boys went to the zoo one day for an outing, since they had been at school all week. They decided to visit the elephant cage, but soon enough, they were picked up by a cop for causing a commotion. The officer hauled them off to security for questioning. The supervisor in charge asked…
-
You Know You’re a Pothead When…
in JokesYou Know You’re a Pothead When… You think the song “Truckin’” by the Grateful Dead should replace the national anthem. Your music collection is worth more than your vehicle. Your bong is taller than your dog. It takes you more than 30 minutes to roll a joint. You set your wedding date for 4/20. You…
-
Poor Sign Language
in JokesThere was a couple doing yard work, and the wife stops to go up and take a shower. The husband is looking for the rake and yells to his wife, who looks out of the upstairs bathroom window, “Where’s the rake?” She can’t hear him, so he points to his eye (I), points to his…
-
My Sunday
in Jokes“WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?” the irate customer calling the newspaper office loudly demanded. “Madam,” said the newspaper employee, “today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on SUNDAY.” There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a sight of resignation as she was heard…
-
Paper Over the Cracks
in JokesA blonde goes into a newsagent’s office and asks for her usual paper. The newsagent says, “Did you know your paper is going to cost more from tomorrow?” “In that case, I’d better buy ten more of today’s!”
-
My Brothers Sister
in JokesI was at my friends house and we were bragging about how little we can eat. My friend J.B sister said some times I don’t eat all day. I asked her, “oh you fast?” Then she says, “No, I’m actually pretty slow.” Then her mom told her fasting is not eating for a long time.…
-
Once a Week
in JokesOn hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Susan went straight to her grandparent’s house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, “He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning.” Horrified, Susan told her…
-
Happy Birthday To You!
in JokesIt is proven that the celebration of birthdays is healthy. Statistics show that those people who celebrate the most birthdays become the oldest. – S. den Hartog, Ph D. Thesis Universtity of Groningen.
-
Extraordinary Dogs
in JokesA doctor, an architect, and an attorney were dining at the country club one day, and the conversation turned to the subject of their respective dogs, which were apparently quite extraordinary. A wager was placed on who had the most intelligent dog. The physician offered to show his dog first, and called to the parking…