Jokes
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Award-winning Cows
in JokesBillymac: “Those there are award winnin’ cows.” BubbaJr.: “What’d they do?” Billymac: “They’re outstandin’ in their field”
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Mozart Beyond the Grave
in JokesWhen Mozart passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Mozart was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it.The priest bent close to the grave…
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Rehiring Your Lawyer
in JokesMake sure the lawyer YOU hire does not do any of these things: 1. During your initial consultation he tries to sell you cocaine. 2. He tells you that his last good case was a “Budweiser.” 3. When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other. 4. He picks the jury by…
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Cool Jokes
in Jokesdum guy calls Air India. “How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?” “Just a sec,” says the rep. Thank you.” says the dum guy and hangs up. >Once a dum guy was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to…
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Ozzy Ozbourne?
in JokesI am sure most people have heard of or watched the popular show the Ozbournes and still more people have Heard Ozzy sing. My question is how can Ozzy sing if he can’t talk???
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The Dog Is Loose!
in JokesHonest to God true story. Wife (yelling from upstairs): Honey, I’m naked and the dog is loose in the front yard! Husband (downstairs): Hold on, I’ll be right up! She didn’t appreciate the humor.
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Sam Levenson
in JokesMany of you may be too young to remember U.S. comedian Sam Levenson; he was popular from the 1940s through the mid-1960s. Levenson said things that made sense and it would be a shame if they faded into oblivion, so here are a few of his “nuggets” worth assaying. 1. The first screw to get…
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Time Left to Live
in JokesA middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked, “Is my time up? God said, “No, you have another 43 years, two months and eight days to live.” Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in…
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Cra-Z Laws:Colorado
in JokesColorado ⢠Car dealers may not show cars on a Sunday. ⢠Colorado law requires that wine be sold in containers of at least 24 ounces and spirits in containers at least a fifth of a gallon. But, at the same time, it also decrees that no alcohol beverage can be stored in hotel minibars…
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March
in JokesI was a new Army basic trainee at Fort McClellan, and one requirement was a demanding 12-mile march. We got started at 6 a.m. and were pumped up for the trek. An hour later, feeling the heavy load of our packs, we wondered if the end would ever come. “Men,” our sergeant yelled, “you’re doing…