Jokes
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Help Me, Doctor!
in JokesAn exhausted looking blond dragged himself in to the doctor’s office. “Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can’t get a wink of sleep.” “I have good news for you,” the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications. “Here are some new…
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Everything is Big in Texas
in JokesIt seems that upon passing away, a Texan found himself at the legendary Pearly Gates, and St. Peter himself was in attendance to personally greet him! After the usual checklist and verifications, St. Peter made some small talk and commented that he had heard that in Texas, everything is big. The Texan agreed and responded…
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Train Conductor
in JokesA mother was working in the kitchen listening to her 5 year old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son saying, “All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now… cause this is the last stop! And all…
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Word Imperfect
in JokesOne day, someone phoned Central Manhattan Office. Caller: Good afternoon. I’m John Smith. Operator: GOOD AFTERNOON! CAN I HELP YOU? Caller: Who are you? Why are you so rude? Operator: WHO ARE YOU LOOKING FOR? Caller: I am looking for my sister, Gabrielle Smith. She works here, right? Operator: SHE IS IN THE TOILET! Caller:…
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House and Home
in JokesAfter the fall in Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons Cain and Abel. They passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden. One of the boys asked, “What’s that?” Adam replied, “Boys, that’s where your mother ate us out of house and home.”
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Your Favorite Jokes
in JokesTo add a joke to this list: Click the “Add to My Favorites” link when you are viewing a joke. To get rid of one of your favorite jokes: Go to your favorite jokes page. Next to each joke there is a garbage can icon. Click on the icon to get rid of that joke…
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Best Friends
in JokesA girl’s legs are her best friends, but the best of friends must part. — Redd Foxx
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Redneck Holiday
in JokesRedneck Christmas Shopping You know you’re a redneck when… you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend and only come back with one gift.
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Property Problems…
in JokesA property manager of single-family residence was showing a unit to prospective tenants and asking the usual questions. “Professionally employed?” he asked. “We’re a military family,” the wife answered. “Children?” “Oh, yes, ages nine and twelve,” she answered proudly. “animals?” “Oh, no,” she said earnestly. “They’re very well behaved.”
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A Guy Walks Into a Pet Shop…
in JokesA man walks into a pet store and asks for a German shepperd. The shopkeeper, replies that it will cost him $500. The man thinks for a minute, then asks how much a beware of dog sign costs. The shopkeeper calmly replies that it costs a whopping $1.98. The man thinks for a while longer,…