Jokes
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Soldiers Salute
in JokesOne day a secretary noticed her boss’s fly was open. Not wanting to embarrass him, she whispers in his ear, “Your barracks are open, and your soldier is saluting at the gates.” The man, realizing what she means, decides to have some fun and says, “Do you see the colonel standing to attention?” She whispers…
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Fooling A Blonde
in JokesTeacher: What is 5 plus 4? Blonde: 9 Teacher: What is 4 plus 5? Blonde: Are you trying to fool me, you’ve just twisted the figure. The answer is 6!!!
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Day And Night
in JokesI was working in a scrap yard during summer vacation at an engineering university. I used to work repairing construction equipment. One afternoon, I was taking apart a piling hammer that had some very large bolts holding it together. One of the nuts had corroded on to the bolt; to free it, I started heating…
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Telling Lies
in JokesThe minister was passing a group of young teens sitting on the Church lawn and stopped to ask what they were doing. “Nothing much, Pastor,” replied one boy. “We were just seeing who can tell the biggest lie about their sex life.” “Boys, boys, boys!” he scolded. “I’m shocked. When I was your age, I…
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Weather Rock
in JokesIf rock is wet, it is raining. If rock is green, it rained a while ago. If rock is white, it is snowing. If rock is shaking, there is an earthquake. If rock is dry, the weather is fair. If rock is swinging, it’s windy. If rock is warm, the sun is out. If rock…
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The Pretty Dress
in JokesOne Sunday morning, as was his custom, the pastor of a small church had all the children come up front for a brief children’s church. He enjoyed asking the children various questions, and hearing their answers. On this particular morning, he noticed little Susie feeling a bit shy, so he leans over to her and…
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Airline Letter
in Jokes*******before you read this I want you all to know this is a real letter written to an airline company by a passanger who rode in the plane*********** Dear Continental Airlines, I am disgusted as I write this note to you about the miserable experience I am having sitting in seat 29E on one of…
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Basic Rules For Dogs Who Have a Yard To Protect
in JokesNEWSPAPERS: If you have to go to the bathroom while playing in the front yard, always use the newspaper that’s placed in the driveway every morning for that purpose. VISITORS: Quickly determine which guest is afraid of dogs. Charge across the room, barking loudly and leap playfully on this person. If the human falls down…
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Wailing Wall
in JokesA journalist assigned to the Jerusalem bureau takes an apartment overlooking the Wailing Wall. Every day when she looks out, she sees an old Jewish man praying vigorously. So, the journalist goes down and introduces herself to the old man. She asks, “You come every day to the wall. How long have you done that,…
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Yo Mama and the UPS Truck
in JokesYo momma is so fat when she got into the UPS truck they had to change the name to DOWNS
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Another Smart Blonde
in JokesA blonde walks into a casino and goes up to the craps table. She tells the dealers she wants to bet $10 000 on a single roll of the dice. The dealers figure that since shes a blonde, she must not know what shes doing, so they allow her to place the bet. Then the…