5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Eight-year-old Sally…

    in

    Eight year old Sally brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good, mostly A’s and a couple of B’s. However, her teacher had written across the bottom: “Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to…

  • Signs that You are Drunk

    in

    You lose arguments with inanimate objects. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth. Your job is interfering with your drinking. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream. Your career won’t progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the…

  • Botty Burp

    in

    A man walked into the doctor’s surgery and said, “Doctor, every time I break wind it sounds like a motor bike.” “That’s very interesting; is there anything else bothering you?” asked the doctor. “I also have a large boil on my backside,” said the man. “Right,” said the doctor, “I will lance your boil and…

  • A Fishing Story

    in

    A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife liked to read. One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decided to take the…

  • Why I Am Independent (but Leaning Republican)

    in

    You might be a Republican if… 1. You have a brain 2. You have morales 3. Your bumper sticker say’s “Somewhere in Massachusetts a village is missing it’s idiot” 4. You totaly agree with everything Foxworthy say’s 5. You bought a shotgun and THEN voted against gun control You might become a republican if… 1.…

  • You are a Redneck If… #9

    in

    You are a redneck if: Your shotgun is named after your girlfriend.

  • Shoot-out

    in

    Yo Momma so stupid, she got stabbed in a shoot-out.

  • Addicted to AIM?

    in

    You Know You’re Addicted to AIM When… 1.) Three words: Carpal tunnel syndrome 2.) You no longer type with proper punctuation, capitalization, or complete sentences… 3.) You’re pissed off your buddy list can only hold 200 screen names. 4.) You begin to say hehehe instead of laughing. 5.) You can now type over 70 words…

  • Feeling So Ashamed

    in

    “I’m feeling so ashamed of the way we live,” a wife said to her husband, who preferred to spend his time laying on the couch watching TV, rather than finding a job. “My father pays our mortgage, my mother buys all of our groceries for us, my sister buys us our clothes, my uncle bought…

  • Blonde Holidays

    in

    Three blondes died and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question. St. Peter asks the first blonde, “What is Easter?” The blonde replies, “Oh, that’s easy! It’s the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey, and…

  • Muffins in Action

    in

    Two muffins were sitting next to each other, in an oven, as they were being cooked. One muffin turned to the other muffin, and said, “Man, it’s hot in here.” Then the other muffin turned to the first muffin and screamed, “AHHH! A TALKING MUFFIN!”

  • Sentences Which Actually Appeared In A Church Bullentin

    in

    -This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends. -Tuesday at 4 P.M. there will be an ice cream social. Will ladies giving milk, please come early. -Wednesday the Ladies Literary Society will meet. Mrs. Johns will sing “Put Me In…