Jokes
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Proper Dress Code
in JokesA recent college graduate got hired by the human-development center of a large corporation to train the employees in proper dress code and etiquette. One day as she was stepping onto the elevator, a man who was casually dressed in jeans and a golf shirt got on with her. “Dressed a little casually today, aren’t…
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Thank You For Shopping At ApocalypseMart
in Jokes(It’s Halloween, and I’m dressed up as a vampire and wearing a pentacle necklace. The crew is planning on going out after work for a party.) Me: “Did you find everything you needed tonight?” Customer: “Yes, thank you. Can I just say that I think it was very nice of them to let you all…
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To be a Good Dog..
in JokesDear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog: 1. I will not eat the cats’ food before they eat it or after they throw it up. 2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like…
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A Hurricane Blew Across the Caribbean…
in JokesA hurricane blew across the Caribbean. It didn’t take long for the expensive yacht to be swamped by high waves, sinking without a trace. There were only two survivors: the boat’s owner, Dr. Jones and the steward, Jack who managed to swim to the closest island. After reaching the deserted strip of land, the steward…
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After a Few Years of Married Life…
in JokesAfter a few years of married life, a man finds that he is unable to perform. He goes to his doctor, and his doctor tries a few things but nothing works. Finally the doctor says to him: “This is all in your mind,” and refers him to a psychiatrist. After a few visits, the shrink…
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A Man Wanted a Big, Ferocious Dog…
in JokesA man wanted a big, ferocious dog to protect his business, so he visited a kennel that specialized in attack dogs. The man explained to the kennel owner that he wanted the biggest, meanest, most vicious dog in the kennel, and the owner offered to take the man on a tour of the premises. After…
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Mystery Song
in JokesMystery All my life has been a mystery You and I were never ever meant to be Thats why I call my love for you… a mystery. Different country You and I have always lived in different countries And I know that airline tickets don’t grow on a tree So what kept us apart is…
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Prayers Answered
in JokesA young boy called to his mother from the yard, “Mom, would you rather me fall out of a tree and break my arm or just tear a hole in my Sunday slacks?” “Well,” she replied, “I guess I’d pray that you just ripped your pants.” The kid yells back, “Your prayers have been answered!”
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Old Jewish Beggar
in JokesAn old Jewish beggar was out on the street in New York City with his tin cup. “Please, sir,” he pleaded to a passerby, “could you spare seventy-three cents for a cup of coffee and some pie?” The man asked, “Where do you get coffee and pie for seventy-three cents in New York? It costs…
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I’m Glad My Name is Amanda
in JokesA blonde girl comes into her dad’s room and tells her dad… Amanda: Dad, I’m glad you named me Amanda. Dad: Why? Amanda: It’s because that’s what everyone calls me!