5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Announcement

    in

    Heard over the hospital public address system: Due to a mix up in Urology, no apple juice will be served this morning.

  • International Weird Laws

    in

    A dumb list for dumb laws: Australia 1. Children may not purchase cigarettes, but can smoke them. 2. You may never leave your car keys in an unattended vehicle. 3. It is illegal to roam the streets wearing black clothes, felt shoes and black shoe polish on your face as these items are the tools…

  • The Hokey Pokey – Shakespearean Style

    in

    Original Lyric Put your left foot in, Your left foot out, Your left foot in, And shake it all about. You do the hokey pokey, And turn yourself around That’s what it’s all about. Shakespearean Style. O proud left foot, that ventures quick within, Then soon upon a backward journey lithe. Anon, once more the…

  • Hum Hum

    in

    A man goes to the doctor and says “Doctor doctor! I can’t eat food through my mouth cause it hurts” The doc says “Try eating through your bum, it might help” A few weeks later the doctor sees the man walking down the road in a very weird way, he asks “Why are you walking…

  • Actual Headlines (2)

    in

    Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One War Dims Hope for Peace Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge Deer Kill 17,000 Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group Astronaut…

  • Texans…… Ayayayayay

    in

    Texan: “Where are you from?” Harvard graduate: “I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions.” Texan: “OK, where are you from, Jackass?”

  • Discovering Oneself

    in

    I use to feel like I was a man trapped in a woman’s joke, but then I was born.

  • Initial Problem

    in

    R. B. Jones had just started a government job. Human Resources sent him a letter, instructing him that they needed his full name for their records, otherwise he could not be paid. They enclosed the proper form for him to fill out. R.B. wrote back to explain that he HAS no other names, only the…

  • Swen

    in

    Knock Knock. Who’s there? Swen. Swen who? Swen are you going let me in!?

  • Signs You’re the Reincarnation of Someone Famous…

    in

    -During a thunderstorm, you build a giant boat and start stealing your neighbor’s pets. -When the boss criticizes your work, you hack off your right ear and mail it to him. -Not only do you consider Yoko an artistic genius, you think she’s beautiful and has a lovely singing voice. -While working under the sink,…

  • Georgia Bulldog

    in

    Two boys are playing football at this park in a small town in South Carolina when one of the boys is suddenly attacked by a crazed Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes a stick and shoves it under the dog’s collar, twists it, and breaks the dog’s neck, thus saving his friend. A sport…

  • Jack Schitt

    in

    Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says “you don’t know Jack Schitt”. Now, You can handle the situation. Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Knee-deep Schitt, Inc. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt…