5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • I Love Being Married…

    in

    I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

  • The Half Price Pants

    in

    Cathy was looking through the window of a clothes store when she spotted a pair of short-shorts. “Wow, these pants are half off!” she told her uncle. Her uncle said “They should be, they are only a half pair of pants.”

  • Things Said In Court 2

    in

    Q: Do you have any children or anything of that kind? Q: Please state the nature of your relationship to the minor child? A: I’m his mother. Q: And you have been so all of his life? Q: What is the meaning of sperm being present? A: It indicates intercourse. Attorney Q: Male sperm? A:…

  • Geriatric Joke

    in

    How many old geezers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Back in my day, we didn’t have lightbulbs. We put candles in tin cans and hung them from the ceiling with thread. And we had to walk uphill both ways to school in a blizzard with nothing but a potato to keep us…

  • The True Meaning of Women’s Ads

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    40-ish………………………………49 Adventurer………………………..Slept with all your friends Athletic…………………………….No tits Average looking………………….Has a face like a basset hound Beautiful…………………………..Pathological liar Contagious Smile………………..Does a lot of Ecstasy Educated……………………..Banged her Political Science professor Emotionally Secure……………..Medicated Feminist…………………………….Fat ball buster Free spirit………………………….Junkie Friendship first…………….Trying to live down reputation as a slut Fun………………………………..Annoying Gentle……………………………..Comatose Good Listener……………………Borderline Autistic New-Age………………………….All joke hair, all the…

  • Wanted

    in

    One day Bob (a boy) went to Sally (a beautiful girl). Bob told her, “Sal, Jack (a boy) wants you.” She replied, “I know.” They stand in silence for a while. Bob finally said, “I mean he needs your help.” “Oh.”

  • Priorities of Life

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    A philosophy professor stood before his class with some items in front of him. When the class began, he picked up a very large, empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, approximately two inches in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full and they agreed that it was.…

  • E N U T

    in

    Can you decipher this phrase? E N U T Tune up!

  • Oximoron

    in

    Q: What do you call an oxymoron? A: A smart blonde!

  • You’ve All Heard of TGIF…

    in

    You’ve all heard of TGIF – Thank God It’s Friday, right? Well my Secretary refers to Friday as POETS day… Piss Off Early, Tomorrow’s Saturday….!!!

  • The Drunk

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    A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a l lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check…

  • Definitions By Gender

    in

    THINGY: female: Any part under a car’s hood. male: The strap fastener on a woman’s bra VULNERABLE: female: Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another. male: Playing football without a helmet. COMMUNICATION: female: The sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner. male: Leaving a note before suddenly taking off for the weekend with…