5W1H boo!

Jokes

  • Test

    in

    Gary: I don’t think I deserve a zero on this test. Teacher: I agree, but it’s the lowest mark I can give you.

  • His Place

    in

    An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency. An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor. “So, what is it?” grumbled the governor. “Judge Garber has just died,” said the attorney, “and I want to take his place.” The governor replied: “Well,…

  • Funky

    in

    Yo mama’s so funky, they closed the beaches for a week after she drained her bath water.

  • Arithmetic

    in

    Q: What did one arithmetic book say to the other? A: I have a lot of problems.

  • Poor Guy

    in

    A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for three shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, “What happened?” The guy replies, “I just found out my younger brother is gay.” He finish’s his shots and leaves. The next day he comes back and orders five shots and the bartender asks, ” What happened…

  • Erasing the Slate

    in

    Q: How do you recognize a blonde in school? A: They are the only ones who erase their notebook when the teacher erases the board.

  • Wasted Time

    in

    TO: ALL PERSONNEL FROM: ACCOUNTING It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts of “Miscellaneous Unproductive Time” (Code 5309). However, we need to know exactly what you are doing during your unproductive time. Attached below is a sheet specifying a tentative extended job…

  • Free Tickets

    in

    Q: How do you get free tickets to a concert fast? A: Bring a gun to the box-office.

  • Stage Employees

    in

    Q: How many roadies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 2. One to try to hammer it in with a microphone, and another to find a cable to plug that microphone in. Q: How many union members does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: If we do screw in that…

  • A Very Depressed Man

    in

    There’s a man sitting at a bar just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Then, a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, “Come on man, I…

  • A Hotel

    in

    A hotel. A room for four with four strangers. Three of them soon open a bottle of vodka and proceed to get acquainted, then drunk, then noisy, singing and telling political jokes. The fourth one desperately tries to get some sleep; finally, frustrated, he surreptitiously leaves the room, goes downstairs, and asks the lady concierge…

  • Eating Dogs

    in

    Two Scottish nuns had just arrived to the US by boat when one said to the other, “I heard that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs.” “Odd,” her companion replied, “but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do.” Nodding emphatically, the mother superior pointed to…