Jokes
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A compatible gentleman
in JokesFour men, well along in years, had played golf as a foursome every Sunday morning, until one of them passed away. The other three asked the club pro if he could find them a compatible gentleman to fill out the foursome again. “No problem,” answered the pro. “But, you have to understand,” one of the…
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Favorite Pants
in JokesWhen my oldest child was about three years old, we took a trip to a local fast food restaurant. I wearing my new favorite article of clothing: a pair of bright pink, elastic waist pants that I’d bought the day before. Although they were a little big on me, I instantly fell I love with…
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The Coffin
in JokesA man is walking home alone late one night when he hears a BUMP… BUMP.. BUMP… behind him Walking faster he looks back and can make out the image of an upright coffin banging its way down the middle of the street towards him …BUMP, it goes.. …BUMP.. …BUMP.. Terrified, the man begins to run…
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Believer?
in JokesThe two thousand member Baptist church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The preacher was ready to start the sermon when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered through the rear of the church. One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other…
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Word to the Wise on Work
in JokesMy dad has always told me that putting in a little effort and dedication on the job never hurt anyone. Then again, he never heard of worker’s comp.
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White House Interior Decorator
in JokesOne day, Clinton called the White House interior decorator into the Oval Office. He was very furious and said, “Chelsea is very upset because she thinks she has the ugliest room in the entire White House; I want something done about it immediately!” Yes Sir, Mr. President,” the interior decorator replies. “I’ll have those mirrors…
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Communism
in JokesLenin coined a slogan on how to achieve the state of communism through rule by the Communist Party and modernization of the Russian industry and agriculture: “Communism is Soviet power plus electrification of the whole country!” The slogan was subject to popular mathematical scrutiny: “Consequently, Soviet power is communism minus electrification, and electrification is communism…
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“Get Outta Town!!!!!!!!!!!”
in JokesA blonde named Megan decides to go out for a ride in her new convertible. While she’s out driving she sees her best friend Christina, another blonde. She has a sign that reads “Vegas or Bust.” “Why are you leaving?” asked Megan. “Some guy came up to me and told me to get out of…