Jokes
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The Well
in JokesThe class homework was to write about something unusual that had happened in the previous month. Little Johnny stood up to read his: “Daddy fell in the well last week,” he began. “Good heavens,” shrieked Mrs. Johnson, the teacher. “Is he all right now?” “He must be,” said Timmy. “He stopped yelling for help yesterday.”
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Yellow Elephant
in JokesQ: How do you shoot a yellow elephant? A: Have you ever seen a yellow elephant?
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Blonde Golf
in JokesThere was this blonde who had taken up golf for a long time. When she was ready to play, the 1st round she came back in 20 minutes and told the pro she was stung by a bee. He asked where. She said, “Between the first hole and the second hole.” He said, “Sounds like…
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15 0ld Stanbys…
in Jokes1) A clear concience is a sign of a bad memory. 2) For every action,there is an equal and opposite critisism. 3) He who hesitates is probably right. 4) Eagles may soar,but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines. 5) I went to find some camouflage clothing,but I couldn’t find it. 6) My wife went…
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Even “Dear Abby” is Stumped
in JokesDear Abby: A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I’ve never seen a man go into their apartment or come out. Do you think they could be Lebanese?…
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Trust the Doctor
in JokesA few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye. He was worried for a while, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it. Once he was in the doctor’s office, the man followed instructions, undressed, and bent over. The first thing the proctologist saw when…
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Long Service Medal
in JokesOur old friend Gladys attended church services one particular Sunday. The sermon seemed to go on forever, and many in the congregation fell asleep. After the service, to be social, she walked up to a very sleepy looking gentleman, in an attempt to revive him from his stupor, extended her hand in greeting, and said,…
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On Second Thought…
in JokesA little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two plastic garbage bags with her, one in each hand. There’s a hole in one of the bags, and every once in a while a $20 bill is flying out of it onto the pavement. Noticing this, a policeman stops her. “Ma’am, there are $20…
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Rule of Thumb
in JokesA Woman’s Rule of Thumb: If it has, tires, or testicles, you’re going to have trouble with it.
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Rearranging Letters
in JokesDORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME…