Redneck Religion

A southern minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great expression he said, ”If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river.” With even greater emphasis he said, ”And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river.” And then finally, he said, ”And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river.” Sermon complete, he then sat down.
The song leader stood very cautiously and announced, “And today we will let someone in the crowd pick our closing song.” A Alabama man raised his hand and said, “Fer are closin song, we gonna sing dat one Hymn #365: ‘Shall We Gather at the River.”’