Short Jokes 2

19. How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle?
Shine a torch in her ears.

20. Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
It takes too long to retrain them.

21. How can you tell if a blonde’s been using the computer?
There’s white-out on the screen.

How can you tell if another blonde’s been using the computer?
There’s writing on the white-out.

22. What’s the difference between a blonde and a computer?
You only have to punch information into a computer once.

23. What do you call four blondes in a Volkswagen?

24. What did the blonde think of the new computer?
She didn’t like it because she couldn’t get channel 9.

25. Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
(With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!

26. How do you kill a blonde?
Put spikes in their shoulder pads.

27. How do blondes pierce their ears?
They put tacks in their shoulder pads.

28. Why don’t blondes eat Jello?
They can’t figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.

29. Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
She liked kids…

30. Why don’t blondes eat pickles?
Because they can’t get their head in the jar.

31. Teller: Why did the blonde move to L.A.?
Blonde: I don’t know. Why?
Teller: It was easier to spell.
Blonde: Easier than what?

32. Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?
They have to have some place to rest their ankles.

33. Why do blondes where big hoop earrings?
To put their feet through.

34. How many blondes does it take to play tag?

35. Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
Because red means stop.

36. How many blondes does it take to make a circuit?
Two, One to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass her the blow dryer!

37 How do you describe 3 prostitutes and a blonde?
Ho, Ho, Ho, and to all a good night.

38. Did you hear what the blonde who was opening a new bar said when her lawyer explained to her that she needed a liquor license?
“Oh, it’s not gonna be THAT kind of a bar. That’s disgusting!”

39. Why did the blonde fail her driver’s license ?
She wasn’t used to the front seat!

40. What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?
She picks up her purse and goes home.

41. Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?
The vegetable garden.

42. What’s the mating call of the blonde?
“I’m *sooo* drunk!”

43. What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
(Screaming) “I said: I’m drunk!”

44. How did the blonde die ice fishing?
She was run over by the Zamboni machine.

45. What’s a brunette’s mating call?
Has that blonde gone yet?
When is that blonde bitch going to leave!?
“All the blondes have gone home!”

46: Why do blondes drive BMWs?
Because they can spell it.

47. Why do blondes like the GST? (GST – Goods and Services Tax now in effect in Canada)
Because they can spell it.

48. What is 74 to a blonde?
69 plus G.S.T.

49. Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.

50. Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts?
Tits Go In Front.