When I fly, I go Air Bizarre. It’s a good airline. You buy a one-way round trip ticket. You leave any Monday and they bring you back the previous Friday… That way you still have the weekend.
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
I broke a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
If the pen is mightier than the sword, in a duel I’ll let you have the pen!
I was cleaning out my closet and I found a swim suit that I had made out of sponges. I remember one time when I wore it. When I got out of the swimming pool nojoke could go swimming until I came back.
The other day, when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.
It doesn’t matter what temperature the room is; it’s always room temperature.
I have a very rare photograph. It shows Houdini locking his keys in his car.