The Pharmacist

When the husband arrived home, his wife met him at the door sobbing. He asked her what was wrong.

“It’s the pharmacist,” she wailed. “He insulted me something awful on the phone this morning.” Hearing this, the husband immediately headed downtown to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology.

Before he could say more than a word or two, the pharmacist cut him off and said, “Please, just listen to my side of it.”

“This morning my alarm didn’t go off,” the pharmacist began to explain, “so I was late getting up. Going without breakfast, I rushed out to my car only to realize I had locked the house with both my house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys.

Then, driving a little too fast, I got pulled over and was given a speeding ticket. Later, about two blocks from the store, I had a flat tire. When I finally arrived at the store there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up.

I opened the store and began waiting on these people, and all the while the damn phone was ringing off the hook.”

Taking a breath, he continued, “Then, I had to break a roll of coins against the cash register drawer to make change and they spilled all over the floor. I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the coins, the phone still ringing off the hook. As I stood up, I cracked my head on the open cash drawer. This made me stagger back against a showcase filled with perfume bottles, causing all of them to fall to the floor and break.

Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing without letting up. When I finally got to answering it, it was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer. Believe me sir, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her.”