Jokes

  • Church

    Child: Mum, can I wear those really nice jeans with the hole in the knee to church? Mother: No honey, you can’t wear holy jeans to church!

  • Yo Momma So Dumb…….

    yo momma so dumb that she went to the movies and after they told her under 17 not permitted she went back and got 16 more friends.

  • Digging a Hole

    Private Benny and Private Harry are leading a donkey down a muddy road near their barracks when the animal suddenly just drops dead. An officer sees this happen, and while Benny and Harry are standing there wondering what they should do, the officer goes up to them. He quickly sizes up the situation and instructs…

  • Japanese Amusement Parks

    Why are there so few amusement parks in Japan? Because they aren’t tall enough to ride them!

  • Simple Algebra

    Given m = money, e = evil, t = time and w = women, prove that women are evil (women = evil) 1. m = e ^ (1/2) (money is the root of all evil) 2. t = m (time is money) 3. w = t * m (women are the product of time and…

  • Pigment

    Race is just a pigment of the imagination.

  • 100 REASONS

    1. You could care less who Britney Spears is sleeping with. 2. You understand the differences between 27 brands of imported chardonnay. 3. You can call anyone “honey” including pets. 4. You know someone who was in the emergency room with Richard Gere the gerbil. 5. You understand the immense importance of quality lighting. 6.…

  • Links to Third-Party Sites

    Our web site contains links to third party web sites that are maintained by others. These links are provided solely as a convenience to you and not as an endorsement by the web site of the contents on these third-party web sites. The web site is not responsible for the content of linked third-party sites…

  • Learning How To Swim

    An elderly man and his wife, vacationing at a cabin by the lake, were sitting on the porch and reminiscing about their younger years. “This is the lake where I learned how to swim when I was a small boy,” the husband said. “My father threw me into the water and I had to learn…

  • Ten-Mile Hike

    An old man saw a very tired infantryman resting after a hard foot march. The man said with disdain: “When I was of your age I thought nothing of a ten-mile hike.” “Well, I don’t think much of it either,” replied the GI.

  • Press Cuttings

    These are all true cuttings, Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van because they cannot issue a description. It is a Special Branch vehicle and they do not want the public to know what it looks like. (The Guardian) Police reveal that a woman arrested for shoplifting had a whole…

  • Coffin

    Q. What’s the difference between a woman and a coffin ? A. You come in one and go in the other.