Jokes
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#13 Redneck
in JokesYou know you’re a redneck if your bathroom towels are also your bathroom curtains.
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Mistakes in Publication
in JokesThe following were actually published, -Include your children when baking cookies! -Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted -Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says -British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands -Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family. A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by…
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Ten Times
in JokesThe 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human joke part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?” No one answered until little Mary stood up, angry, and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell…
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Counting
in JokesLittle Tommy ran to his dad and said “Daddy, daddy! Watch me count.” Tommy holds up his right hand, and, touching each finger, counts to five. “One, two, three, four, five.” “Good!” his dad exclaimed. “Can you count higher?” Tommy pauses to think for a minute, then stretches his hand higher up in the air,…
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A Few Questions
in JokesWhy do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? Why do people who know the least know it the loudest? If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off? If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound? When it rains,…
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Idiots Today
in JokesThe idiots we have today. They’re so stupid they make turkeys seem smart. They even make sponges seem smarter.
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Edited Lyric to ‘Complicated’
in JokesI’m not against Avril Lavigne or anything, I like her, but I heard this, and it was pretty funny. This is the changed lyric to the chorus of Complicated: “Why’d you have to go and make me so constipated? You see the way I’m scrunching up my pitiful face when I’m on the toilet, And…
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Dynamite
in JokesThis man comes home feeling pretty frisky after partying with his buddies half the night. He walks into the bedroom where his wife is still waiting up for him. He takes off all of his clothes and says, “Baby, you are looking at 200 pounds of dynamite.” His wife opens the window and yells, “Everyjoke…
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Don’t Share the Same Bed
in JokesThree men go on holiday abroad together. The tourist office informs them that there is only one hotel in town with vacancies. The guys go along there, only to be told by receptionist at the hotel that there is just one available room left in the hotel. They are not happy, but as it is…
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Men VS Women
in JokesWhen a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled ‘All Men Are Idiots.’ Then she will get on with her life. A male has a little more trouble letting go. Six months after the breakup, at 3 am on a Sunday…