Where is My Wife?

A man woke up in the morning to see that the whole house was all messy. Clothes were all over the room. Coffee beans were spilled on the kitchen floor. Even the house was teepeed with toilet paper.

Back in the living room, a note read:

Dear Honey,

I have gone shopping for a little while. Sorry if I left the house a little messy. I don’t know when I’ll be back.

After reading the note, he calls her.

“Where are the couch, TV, and coffee machine?”

“Uhh, that’s a funny story.”

She hangs up, and their 23-year old son walks in.

“Austin! Where is my wife?”

“Oh, that. You drank like crazy and fell asleep. When she was pulling you back to bed, you woke up, punched her, spun her around in the air and threw her in the toilet. She told me she would move after I trashed the place with her.”

“So whose wife was that?”